Podcast: “I read about the Manpants all the time.”
This time around I’m joined by special correspondent James.
Part 1: Surf Ninjas of the Amazon.com
Direct link (right click to download)
Part 2: Remembering the Late Great George Carlin
(This was recorded the day after Carlin’s death.)
Direct link
The Happening: Peter’s Take
“You deserve this.”
These three words are the key to The Happening. Like it or hate it (I refuse to accept that anyone anywhere ever could love the movie in any way), we brought this upon ourselves.
The Happening is many things but it is mainly, and most importantly, this: a temper tantrum. M. Night Shyamalan is a little kid, and we, the collective audience, are his parents. Two years ago M. Night came home from school and showed us a story book he made with crayons and construction paper in art class. The story book was called Lady in the Water, and M. Night was so proud of it. He assumed we, his parents, would be proud of it too. But we weren’t. Because it was terrible. We said, “Oh this is wonderful, honey” and we gave him back his little construction paper book. M. Night asked us to please put it up on the fridgerator with a smiley magnet. We said, “Oh sure, Night, sure. We’ll put it up on the fridgerator.” But we didn’t, because we didn’t want an incoherent piece of nonsense on our fridge. So instead we put Lady in the Water aside and it got mixed up with the newspaper and thrown away.
Night found out about this and he was so upset that no one liked Lady in the Water, no one gave him a cookie or a scratch n sniff Good Job! sticker or anything, that he went up to his room and threw a temper tantrum. That tantrum is The Happening. Senseless and unnecessary violence and destruction. We heard all the commotion and ran up to his room and found little Night wrecking everything in his path.
“Night! Stop it! Don’t you pull out those dresser drawers! No! Don’t you show that lady stick her hair pin in her neck! No! Don’t you dare show that man getting his arms ripped off by lions!“
Is it worse than Lady in the Water? Well, I don’t think so. But it’s only better in the sense that watching a temper tantrum is, on some level, more entertaining than trying to make sense of a child’s crayon-scribbled attempt at a fairy tale.
The Happening is rated R, which you know if you’ve seen any of the latest TV commercials for it, since they are marketing the shit out of that fact. But here’s the truth: this film did not need to be R rated. It’s gory simply for the sake of being gory, simply for the sake of the writer/director blowing off some steam after witnessing the overwhelming rejection of his last film. In fact, if not for the deafening music cues, the bloody stuff would not even be very shocking. I can’t tolerate much gore in movies, but if I closed my eyes at all during The Happening it’s because I was laughing so hard.
I’m not convinced that M. Night Shyamalan has ever had an actual conversation in person with anyone. The man simply does not understand how people talk. I really like The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable is one of my favorite movies of all time, and I will defend Signs even though I don’t think it holds up well. But I have to admit that even his good films, dialogue has been a problem for Shyamalan. Particularly in Signs and The Village, the lines that stumble out of the characters’ mouths are so strangely awkward that it makes me dizzy. The Happening suffers from the same problem, only on a larger scale because this is supposed to be a movie about mass panic. Say what you will about The Mist, but at least most of the things the characters say sound realistic. Even Spielberg’s War of the Worlds shines compared to The Happening as an example of how to attempt to realistically portray human behavior in the midst of a cataclysmic supernatural event.
How does Shyamalan think people will act during what could easily be interpreted as the end of the fucking world? Oh, they’ll blabber about how great hot dogs are. They’ll use expressions like “Oh, cheese and crackers!” My problem with the dialogue in this film is epitomized by one sinlge line: “There appears to be an event happening.” This is what science teacher Mark Wahlberg and his colleagues are told by a school administrator. “There appears to be an event happening”? Why would anyone say that out loud? And even if it wasn’t said out loud, why would anyone even think that, say it to themselves, in that particular way in that particular word order? I know it sounds like I’m nitpicking, but that way of speaking, which is the way all of the characters speak in this movie, it just drives me fucking crazy. Shyamalan has in the past cited The Twilight Zone as a major influence, obviously. But even the worst episodes of Twilight Zone have more natural sounding dialogue than you’ll find in The Happening.
And what about the main actors stuck with that dialogue? Mark Wahlberg is our protagonist and dammit, it looks like this guy honestly puts forth an effort. I think Wahlberg is a really strong actor and he could probably work in a good Shyamlan movie (if one of those is even possible anymore). But here the odds are stacked against him. After knocking it out of the park as a gruff policeman in The Departed, Wahlberg seems to go out of his way here, adopting an awkward sort of high-pitched tone and wide worried eyes in an effort to come off as non-threatening as possible. It doesn’t quite work. In the classroom scene where he questions his students as to the whereabouts of the honeybees, I really thought that he would start smacking people. “What do you think happened to the bees? Aren’t you guys concerned about the bees? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BEES MUTHERFUCKA!??!?!” But again, I give the guy points for trying. He did the best with what he had.
Zooey Deschanel. We all know that my colleague Mike has a thing for Ms. Z. Deschanel and holds her in quite high regard, as do I. But there’s not much to say for her here. Her character is poorly written and pretty forgettable. Again, this is 99% Shyamlan’s fault. He should re-watch Unbreakable and observe Robin Wright Penn’s performance. Her character in that film is similar to Deschanel’s in The Happening (an emotionally distant wife considering an affair), but the difference is that Wright plays a fully rounded character. We know hardly anything about Deschanel in this movie except that she will inevitably reconcile with Wahlberg at the end and also she is beautiful. And oh god is she beautiful. You heard it here first: eyes are the new breasts. We all know Zooey Deschanel has a lovely figure, but the R rating is for lion attacks and lawnmower mishaps, not explicit love scenes. In a classy move, Deschanel is dressed in real clothing instead of B-movie skimpy outfits, and the camera is obsessed with her eyes like they were Bond-girl cleavage. Her baby blues get more screen time than John Leguizamo.
The Happenin’: Joel’s Take
I imagine that this post is meant to be about the recent M. Night film The Happening, but I saw it and I don’t remember most of it so instead I’ll tell you about Jumper starring Rachel Leigh Cook and Mace Windu.
Jumper is a peculiar take on the classic children’s story Time Cop; taking liberties with this license, director Doug “Lemon” Liman takes us through a thrillarious journey on the perils and perks of being a jumper in an age in which jumping is forbidden. No-name fuck David Rice (played by no-name fuck Hayden Christensen) learns at a young age that he can teleport to places based-upon how badly he wants to be in a place. While his pre-teen boners never pop him into awkward scenarios - girl’s lockeroom, girl’s bathroom (all opportunities wasted by Liman) - he does get into some shit and winds up becoming a gazillionaire. Surfing the Maldives at dawn, drinking a beer somewhere in Europe, or even standing on the top of a building are among the limitless things David can do with his ability.
But just when things look great for this contemporary/proverbial Neo from The Matrix, Samuel Jackson comes in and demands that David stop teleporting everywhere because, as Jackson states (and I quote), “Only God should have this power,” after which Liman proceeds to unload some cool special effects and gadgets and really gets the movie going. I think Mace is involved in the Crusades somehow, but his paladins mostly have ghostbusting equipment and awesome grappling hooks.
But just when things look great for Jumper, some lady gets involved and I don’t really remember the rest, the jumping was so intense and maybe it’s just me but it felt like such a wild, exhilarating rush that I flashed back to long ago when I watched The Happening starring Mark Wahlberg and genetically-enhanced Katie Holmes.
I think what upsets me the most about The Happening is that it is terribly, terribly boring. As Mike wrote, nothing “happens” in The Happening, a movie that by its very title implies movement, change, and at least one rogue alien from Signs who is stranded on Earth and must befriend Wahlberg in order to get out of this alive. Even more than that, the performances from otherwise good actors and actresses fall flat, their exchanges lost to awkward dialogue and poorly-cued reactions to catastrophic events (i.e. I just hung myself with a common garden hose, or I have been disrespectfully shotgunned in the head by a complete asshole). Likewise, atmosphere and tension are broken as an unremarkable score is set against the “ominous” whispering of the copses and the cursed sway of villainous trees. No need for an R rating when implied violence could easily save you about $300,000 in fake bullet wounds and car crash mutilation (money better spent in the film Jumper on teleporting cars and other shit through wormholes if you ask me). Suicides aside, everything’s completely lifeless in the film; maybe some semblance of feeling for Ashlyn Sanchez (little girl, big heart) could translate to empathy, but I just wanted to go home at that point. The best part of that movie was the trailer for The X-Files.
And, like Mike, I get the “message” here, as our faith is again instilled in the power of love to heal all major environmental crises and marital problems, as the seemingly arbitrary systems we construct from our everyday experiences and the very lenses we hold to reality turn against us like so many knives at another family Thanksgiving at my cousins’ house, as if we were all really the “science douchebags” Wahlberg so outspokenly critiques during a touching scene in which some more people kill themselves, as we discover that we really do need to feel love again and get in touch with nature. I really don’t know what to take from this movie; it’s not even an enjoyable laugh for people high on particularly fun drugs. To set the record straight, I am no M. Night apologist, nor have I ever defended Lady in the Water as my friends may claim, but at the very least it is easy to see what M. Night might have intended for that piece of crap. I do not plan on seeing The Happening ever again, and this is coming from someone who just rewatched The 6th Day on TNT and plans to catch Death Race in theaters this August.
Why did I even bother to write this, transmission over, etc.
The Happening: Mike’s Take
It’s bold to title a movie “The Happening” when nothing happens. The latest installment from twist-guru M. Night Shyamalan is the most boring movie I’ve had to endure since walking out of Highlander: Endgame. It’s literally as exciting as watching grass grow or running from the wind, the hair-raising climax of this utterly worthless film. I’ll spare you the embarrassing excuse of a story M. Night cooked up to deliver his latest “let’s all get together and save the world” message, but I have a few things to say.
When you watch a movie you expect at the very least to be entertained. Now, this can come in different forms. For some it’s the subtlely nuanced acting. For others it’s Vin Diesel driving a corvette off a bridge while streaming it live on the internet. Whatever your deal, you at least demand a minimum of suspense, decent acting, or a few moments where you jump at the “buzz buzz—–WHooooosh” editing that’s now a prerequisite in any drama.
The Happening contains none of these. Not only does it fail to entertain, educate, or frighten, but it tries harder than any film in recent memory to infuriate viewers by assuming they are ignorant and without taste. That’s the only explanation for the total lack of passable acting and the heavy handed, beyond stupid message that hits you over the head at every turn: “THE PLANET WOULDN’T DO THIS IF WE TREATED IT RIGHT.” But, hey, I might be wrong. Just listen to outgoing studio Vice Chairman Hutch Parker: “Night has an uncanny gift at exploring the recesses of the human psyche, and in this film, particularly, the psychology of fear. We felt that the R rating would allow Night to go beyond the limits he explored so far, breaking new ground for himself and for the audience.” Hutch liked it so much he left the studio.
The only thing Night broke was his shovel. What little credibility Mr. Shyamalan had left after his stillborn child, Lady in the Water , is gone. Not only did he commit career suicide with this latest disaster, but he dragged Zooey Deschanel and Mark Wahlberg down with him. Wahlberg is a former bodybuidling rapper, a less-juiced, slightly more respectable John Cena who’s best cast in roles where you need someone who can take care of business. He’s not a soft spoken science teacher with a tucked-in shirt who offers pseudo-insightful comments on the environment. Zooey Deschanel is one of the most beautiful women to grace the silver screen, and was adorable and funny in more than a few movies, but whoever wrote her lines should be ashamed. If she’s not mumbling some generic damsel-in-distress one liner, she’s staring wide-eyed as Marky Mark fumbles about, pretending to know what’s going on: “I’m a science teacher. You can trust me.”
At the core of this bad dream is the notion that we’re ruining the planet with pollution but no one cares so the plants are pissed and we’re all fucked, blah blah blah we get it, Night! An episode of Captain Planet got that message across more subtlely than all ninety-one minutes of The Happening, and didn’t have to resort to the blunt trauma of Shyamalan’s jarring dialogue. I realize as much as anyone that we’re destroying the environment and oil companies and Republicans are trying their best to cover it up, but as a filmmaker your task is foremost to make films. You’re not a journalist, nor a scientist, nor a particularly smart person, so stop pretending you’re all three. I don’t go around making movies about how cod are going extinct or the perils of putting too many satellites in orbit. Not because I don’t care about these problems; I’m quite upset about preventable extinctions and falling space debris, actually. It’s because I’m not a cod fisherman or a fucking astronaut. M. Night Shyamalan has become a two-bit joke who has hopefully schemed his way into the box office for the last time. Lady in the Water was awful but comparatively harmless, the fault line for an impending catastrophe. The Happening is an extinction level event.
Rating: Worthless
Interview: AZIZ ANSARI
Aziz Ansari began his comedy career as a standup in New York City in 2001. After winning the award for Best Standup at the HBO U.S. Comedy Arts Festival, he eventually hooked up with Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer and Jason Woliner to form the sketch group Human Giant. The group’s raucous antics, which range from sketches like “Carpet Monkey” to the adventures of the mind-exploding magicians known as “The Illusionators,” have delighted both live audiences and viewers of the popular self-titled MTV series. Season One of Human Giant is now available on DVD, and you should also check out the always entertaining and informative Human Giant production blog. I spoke to Aziz Ansari about sketch comedy, fine food and Lost.
Peter: You did stand-up while attending the School of Business at NYU. How did you decide to take the plunge into comedy, and what were your first stand-up experiences like?
Aziz Ansari: My first time on stage, I bombed hard. I went back to the bar at the comedy club and buried my head in shame. As I sat there, I felt an arm pat my shoulder. A deep voice said, “You’re gonna be okay son.” It was Comic View’s Earthquake. He handed me a notebook and said, “Here’s all my old jokes, these are yours now.” I performed Earthquake’s material for about a year, got comfortable on stage, and then wrote my own stuff. Unfortunately, none of that ever happened, but I’d love to do Earthquake’s material sometime.
What are the pros and cons of doing comedy solo as opposed to working with a group?
Solo Work:
Pros - You have total control of everything and don’t have to take notes from jerks like Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer, and Jason Woliner
Cons - I’m lazy and don’t get shit done sometimes. Also, working alone can be lonely and boring.
Group Work
Pros - Collaborating with other people is really fun both in writing and performing.
Cons - Getting into really dumb comedy arguments like whether a guy getting his dick caught off by a chainsaw is “too silly”
My 90 year old grandmother saw Human Giant’s T-Shirt Squad act on TV and, not understanding that it was a comedy sketch, wondered aloud, “What kind of idiots are these?” Does Human Giant have any plans to appeal to the coveted senior citizen demographic?
Our luck with senior citizens hasn’t been great. We couldn’t even find an old Indian man to play the older version of me for that last shot in T-Shirt Squad. That’s a black guy playing old Aziz. So sad.
The Will Arnett Sex Tape is one of the funniest things I’ve seen lately, but it’s also one of the most frightening. Where did Will Arnett’s dialogue come from?
With that and the gay porn ghost sketch, I really couldn’t believe the filth we were able to get on air this year. Much love to MTV’s standards and practices for working with us on both of those. As far as Will’s dialogue, it was a combination of his improvising and the script that was written by our showrunner Tom Gianas.
My favorite Aziz character is Jimmy Norville. Will we see more of him on the show, and would you entertain the possibility of a Jimmy Norville movie?
Unfortunately, I don’t think Mr. Norville is coming back mainly because out of our group, only Jason (our director) and I enjoy his antics. The rest of the group isn’t too into Jimmy’s nonsense, but maybe we can convince them otherwise in the future. Jason and I had an idea to take the series to a dark turn where Jimmy gets busted swindling and he goes into a deep swindle-less depression.
You are certainly a connoisseur of fine cuisine. How do the restaurants in Los Angeles stack up against those in New York?
I like them both for different reasons. Overall, I feel extremely lucky to bounce back and forth between two cities with such awesome food. Here’s some of my recent good meals - LA - AOC, Asanebo, Larchmont Wine and Cheese, Pho Cafe, Alegria. NY - dell’anima, Momofuku Ko, Red Cat, Supper, Market Table.
Manpants writer Mike recently ranted about what he believes to be a serious decline in the quality of Lost. How do you feel about the show’s current season?
Wow, I’m pretty sure the recent run of Lost episodes is some of the best television I’ve ever seen. It seems pretty accepted by most Lost nerds out there that episodes like “The Constant,” “The Shape of Things to Come,” and “Cabin Fever” are easily some of the best in the series. Mike needs to be fired immediately.
Staff Reviews
Once every year, the staff here at Manpants takes the VW van down to the bowling alley for our yearly staff reviews, some chicken wings, curly fries, and a bucket of Natty Ice. The events that transpire from here are the stuff of urban legend. Back in the summer of ‘05 we supposedly challenged the cast Ocean’s Eleven to a bowling match to determine the career paths of those men plus Julia Roberts. The story goes that we won the match in the tenth frame when staffer Joel picked up the legendary 7-10 split. Well, let’s just say that the opposing team argued that taking 13 attempts to knock down 2 pins isn’t allowed in the game but we were too crunked to really understand their nonsense. This just goes to show that we never back down.
This year the budget can’t quite afford the gas for our trip to the bowling alley, it seems that $4.08 per gallon is a little bit more than our pro bono salaries are capable of matching. We gave some thought towards having a third-party company conduct our reviews this year. We nearly had Nick Swardson perform the annual duty but he made it quite clear that he had already blocked two of my phone numbers and was going to go to the police on stalking charges if I tried to contact him again.
So, here we are. I’m curled up in front of the computer with a pint of Smithwicks and ready to go over the results of our fiscal year.
MIKE
I’ll start things off with the man who put this whole crew together. “Crunktown Hero” Mike is truly the fuel that makes us throw caution, as well as spare change, to the wind and just rent bad movies. I remember staying up until 3am with Mike while he tried to explain Running Scared to me. It was one of those conversations where you know it’s going to change your life. When I politely asked Mike if I could watch the movie he told me I wasn’t ready yet, and then made me watch it over and over again. I had the benefit of listening to Mike’s commentary to keep my head straight during that beast.
It is Mike’s passion for the “B Movie” that has transformed this website from an average website that reviews bad movies into an average website that reviews bad movies and is proud of it. This year your performance was above average. I should note that “above average” is still higher than the peak of Mt. Awesome.
PETER
The next person to fall under the spotlight here is a man who scares the living shit out of me, “I don’t have a nickname” Peter. Peter is probably one of the most analytical writers we have on staff here. When I first met Peter I introduced myself to him and extended my hand. Instead of a hand, I received a list of shitty movies that needed to be watched. I knew I had my work cut out for me. Russell Crowe is the Hollywood version of Peter, they edited out all of the stern looks he gives and abundant chesthair he insists on combing.
Peter’s review on Comedy Central Classics won the prestigious Bare Knuckle Stout Award for Excellence. We’re still not sure what the award is all about but the word excellence is in the title and prompted us to tape it up on the office fridge. Peter has also started the celebrity interview process which I always look forward to. Peter, your performance has also been above average and I would like to pay you back the $2.31 I borrowed for that danish at Publix last week. It was not above average.
MARK
We move right along here to Mark. I haven’t seen you post anything in a very long time. I actually don’t think you’ve posted within the fiscal year and therefore I can not accurately review your performance. I’m going to give you and honorary “satisfactory” for the time being. Please post again.
BEN
I don’t know Ben’s last name. I don’t believe that you have posted within the fiscal year either. You had some good posts that I enjoyed reading. I attempted to look up some of the earlier posts so I could read some of them again but I got tired after the second page. I will also give you an honorary “satisfactory” until you post again.
PAULIE
Paul is one of our new staffers. Paul has been a part of some really great podcasts that I listen to while I play Grand Theft Auto IV. I am anxiously awaiting your first post. Your performance for the year was above average.
JOEL
Joel. Fuck you.
Here’s to next year.
Cheers,
“El Guapo” Jon
I’m now going to turn things over to Peter and Mike for a fair and balanced perspective.
Indiana Jones and the Secret of the A.A.R.P.
I am writing to you from inside of the lead-lined refrigerator in the manpants kitchen. Why am I in such an odd location? Indiana Jones taught me that it is the only safe place to be when a “nucular explosion” (that’s how it’s pronounced) happens. I was excited about this movie for approximately a half hour. When I heard about this movie I was ecstatic. I couldn’t believe that one of my favorite movie heroes would be coming back, and then I started thinking a little bit and started crying a lot more.
I made sure to do my research as any responsible staff member should. When I say research I mean that I rewatched such classic films as Six Days, Seven Nights and the adrenaline rush that we call Regarding Henry only because they were on late night HBO. I might have actually been happier watching a sequel to either of those two movies than watch this attempt to ruin a franchise. Mankind can only handle so many jokes about an aging character unless that character is one of the Space Cowboys, preferably Tommy Lee Jones.
Tapioca pudding aside, I would like to say that I have no idea why people would allow anybody to mess with an awesome trilogy like the Indiana Jones movies. But, that is a lie. This is all due to the clusterfuck known as National Treasure and its sequel. The influence that Nicolas Cage and his band of cronies have had on Hollywood recently should be more concerning to the American people than the upcoming election or gas prices. In the middle of this movie I couldn’t help but notice the similarities in the plots between Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and National Treasure 2. By the end of the movie I wasn’t sure if Benjamin Gates and Indiana Jones weren’t working together.
When this movie introduced the element of alien abduction from Independence Day and wormholes from Contact I was just waiting for Randy Quaid to fly his crop dusting biplane into the mothership. In all fairness, this movie is fun and entertaining for the two hours or so that it lasted. I would compare it to trying to drive after having two or three Four Horsemen shots, it’s just as fun and equally dangerous.
Sub-Genre: Robin Williams Has a Job For Which He Is Too Wacky and/or Dangerously Unqualified
Job: War-time radio host
Movie: Good Morning Vietnam (1987)
Inappropriate Conduct: On his military radio show, Williams plays heathen rock n roll music instead of Army-approved Perry Como; does crazy voices and over-the-top comedy shtick instead of not doing those things.
Reality Check: When questioned about the film’s accuracy, Adrian Cronauer, the real-life inspiration for the character, has said many times: “if I had done half the stuff Robin did, I’d be in [the military prison] Leavenworth.”
Fun Fact: The real Adrian Cronauer is a member of the Knights Templar.
Job: English teacher
Dead Poets Society (1989)
Inappropriate Conduct: Recklessly encourages his students to break from the conformist practices of their prep school; threatens the students’ heterosexuality by promoting participation in things like poetry and theatre; inspires the students to restart the titular occult group, which had been thwarted by the prep school years before.
Reality Check: Williams is fired, putting an end to his outlandish methods.
Fun Fact: Critics of the movie are quick to point out that the non-conformist message of Dead Poets Society is undone when the students join together in non-conformity. Says director Alexander Payne (Sideways), “I remember feeling so cheated by that ending of Dead Poets Society when they all stand up on their desks. Please. It’s saying, ‘Really in their hearts, people aren’t conformists,’ when quite the opposite is true.”
Another Fun Fact: Payne has a point, but I still hate Sideways.
Job: Genie
Aladdin (1992)
Inappropriate Conduct: Makes visual and aural references to 20th century American pop culture even though the film is set in the Middle East hundreds of years prior to the birth of Elvis Presley.
Reality Check: Actual genies are less manic than the one portrayed in the Disney film, bearing a resemblance closer to that of a Billy Crystal or Jon Lovitz-type.
Fun Fact: A wedge was driven between Williams and Disney after the company failed to comply with Williams’ request that Disney not use his name in the marketing of the Aladdin, so as not to conflict with his live action feature Toys, which was being released around the same time and would have otherwise surely been a gigantic success.
Interview: MATT BESSER
If you’re a fan of the Upright Citizens Brigade, you probably know Matt Besser from his absurdly iconic characters: Little Donny, the boy cursed with an enormous penis of which he’s unaware, or perhaps the infamous Bong Boy, who’s unable to tell the difference between reality and reality television.
Matt Besser is a founding member of the Upright Citizens Brigade, one of the most influential improv/sketch groups in recent years. A UCB television series starring Besser and co-founders Amy Poehler, Ian Roberts and Matt Walsh ran on Comedy Central from 1998 to 2000. The group currently operates theaters in New York and Los Angeles and routinely introduces audiences to some of the finest comedic minds in America. You can find all kinds of UCB goodies on the group’s official online store, including the recently released ASSSSCAT! improv show DVD. Additionally, UCBcomedy.com provides easy access to classic and new videos from the group.
I talked with Matt Besser about UCB and improv.
Peter: What were your first experiences performing improv like?
Matt Besser: At first I was essentially still doing standup when I thought I was improvising. It took me a couple of years to get what “listening” really means to improv.
Chicago [the birthplace of UCB] seems to be the heart of American improv. What is it about Chicago that fosters such great comedy?
There’s no pressure to produce product so it’s about the process.
What was it like to transition from performing for a live audience to filming pieces for the UCB television series?
On stage a five minute scene doesn’t seem like a big deal but on TV that seems like a long time. So we had to shorten all these scenes that we had been doing for years down to 3 minutes or less which is always like killing babies.
Aside from sites like UCBcomedy.com that are specifically about humor, do you think this YouTube-born viral video craze is good for comedy or bad for comedy?
It’s good and bad. It’s good in a kind of DIY punk rock anyone can make a video way. But it’s bad when “comedians” don’t get their acting chops because they’ve never worked out their comedy on stage.
UCB has a kind of twisted but ever-present sincerity. Even when you pit man and horse against each other in a boxing match, the comedy never feels mean spirited. Is this something you consider when developing characters and sketches?
I guess if something is truly mean then it’s not funny so we were just trying to make everything funny. Pranks, on the other hand, we did try not to cross the line of just being cruel to people.
You’ve directed a number of stage shows. How does directing differ from writing/performing when it comes to live comedy?
When you direct, once the show starts, you are powerless.
Bonus question from Mike:
Do you believe that Harrison Ford in the new Indiana Jones movie is actually a cyborg powered by Geritol and Centrum Silver?
No, weed smoked from a convection vaporizer.
True Life: I am Completely Fucking Worthless
Oh my lord. When I set out to write this post I wasn’t even close to prepared for half of the shit I dredged up from the murky depths of YouTube. I threw my nets wide and I threw ‘em deep, and when I’d shaken out all the dolphins and crabs I was left with these grainy clips. When are you stupid bastards going to realize your uninformed opinions do not matter? So you found a webcam in your parents’ closet and ran out and borrowed a copy of White Noise from one of your dumb pseudo intellectual friends. Congrats, bud. We’re all so proud you’re here to tell us “shit sux” and “what we’re to do about it.” I couldn’t have figured out this is a miserable existence from flipping to Fox News or listening to Uncle Kracker.
Hey thanks Zipster.Dzzz33333.Dzaaaap.Deeeeeshuthefuckup. Hows about you give me your mailing address and I send you the new Harry Potter? Here’s another spin on an old theme: the internet death threat. Not content to leave this poor helpless balding man (MetaBob) alone, this enraged young punk has to threaten him with insults to keep him from commenting on his own page.
Shut your fucking yap, already. You’re the metaBITCH
Wait for it, wait for it…
Just when you thought old ghosts had gone back to Wendy’s to serve your food, they rear their ugly heads and turn up on our screens. This fat bastard’s been running his mouth for lord knows how long, talking about everything from religion to evolution, to never kissing a girl, and now he’s come back from his parents’ basement to give us the state of religious education in America. Christ.
Monkeys fucked. And monkeys fucked some more. And monkey babies got smarter over the ages and had you, asshole. Scientists say shut your goddamned mouth. I appreciate your concern for dubious sciences like intelligent design and Kirk Cameron’s Argument from Banana, but when are you people gonna learn that you’re not helping the good guys or science or philosophy by shoving your greasy mug in front of a poorly framed webcam? YouTube is for entertainment and buying sex, not your worthless rants about things we couldn’t give two shits about. It’s about finding old Toadies concerts shot on handhelds back in ‘94, for coming across clips from Legends of the Hidden Temple where Olmec grabs a little kid’s ass while no one’s looking, for savoring the glory that is unofficial, unreleased, screwed and chopped crunk jams. Ain’t that right, Ross?