girlpants » Douchebaggery

Die Antwoord, or, what my brains are like lately (?)

Niina — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 22:58:02 +0000

Hey guys. I’m really busy trying to write a book, but now and again I get the chance to read Twitter, and when I do it’s often 50 Cent’s hilarious updates (why is he dating Chelsea Handler?). But today South African hip hoppers Die Antwoord tweeted their new video, and I have to say “Evil Boy” blew my mind a little and I decided I should share with Girlpants. Hmm, let’s see, there are a lot of dicks in this video, so it’s not really safe for work, but you shouldn’t be reading blags at work anyhow.

The other thing I like (I guess the first thing is the blatant disregard for television appropriateness?) is that the dancers aren’t skinny minis. A few artists have done this lately; Lady Gaga did it in Bad Romance, I remember. I like seeing a variety of body sizes shaking it freaky deeky like amidst monster boobs with eyes, rat hoodies (as opposed to hood rats), and terrifying pudenda used as amplifying equipment. Kudos, Die Antwoord. Keep tweeting this magnificent what-the-fuck material.

Watch the trailer below and then click through to the video at Pitchfork here. It’s worth it, but not work safe.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Amazing cover (mid-90s edition)

Niina — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 12:52:43 +0000

K so lately I’ve been loving the song “Your Woman” by White Town. The songwriter, Jyoti Mishra, said of the tune: “I was trying to write a pop song that had more than one perspective. Although it’s written in the first person the character behind that viewpoint isn’t necessarily what the casual listener would expect.” The gender ambiguity is one obvious discussion point; so is the somewhat broken narrative. Anyhow, this song has been coming up for me lately. Other pretty big hits that I now really love from the 90s that I didn’t love at the time and/or that are increasingly relevant now in terms of interest or influence:

“Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand” by Primitive Radio Gods.
“Bittersweet Symphony” by the Verve.
“Tha Crossroads,” Bone Thugs N Harmony.
“Doo Wop (That Thing),” Lauryn Hill. (I’m pretty sure this song brought about the 1960s influx of the noughts — Amy Winehouse, Duffy, Pipettes, I’m looking at you.)

But here’s a great cover of the song that inspired this brief but (I hope) sweet post. It’s by Finnish band Cats on Fire. Here’s to wishing that you like it as much as I do.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I’m sure there are some other songs from that era that have come up, lately, as the 90s are in style again (side note: why??), but I’m going to cap it off at that.

iggy pop, janelle monae and more: girlpants gets opinionated

Niina — Thu, 13 May 2010 11:06:32 +0000

It is with interest that I’ve been following this weird week (month) of bizarre endorsements – does it not seem like everyone is shilling for someone these days? Some are artistic collaborations, some are out-of-genre forays, some are fundraisers, and some are straight-up curious wtf moments (like when Bob Dylan teamed up with Victoria’s Secret). Here are a few of my favorites genre mixups and lateral pop culture moves of the past week.

Iggy Pop and the Stooges played Ray-Ban’s rerelease party for the Aviator glasses. More on this here. While I’m sure it was cool to see Iggy Pop perform live, I can’t help but cringe when Google predicts that I’m going to type in “Iggy Pop Raw Power” and I have to disappoint it by typing in “Iggy Pop Ray Ban” instead. Yes, this is about me, girlpants.
Beck, Vampire Weekend and others are on the soundtrack for the new Twilight venture. The savvily indie track listing was revealed on MySpace (who uses MySpace still?) and you can see it here. Obviously this means that Vampire Weekend will now and forever become a mall goth band, moody and dark save their colorful, colorful hair.
Janelle Monae and Of Montreal, together at last. By collaborating, they’ve created what my iTunes had already tried to create by rapidly shuffling back and forth between the Idlewild soundtrack and Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? back in 2006 (seriously this was a problem). Luckily the song itself is way more rocking; listen to it here at Some Kind of Awesome. It’s actually pretty Of Montreal-heavy for being on Janelle Monae’s upcoming album, The ArchAndroid (with its Baduesque cover), out on May 18th.
Nina Persson of the Cardigans and A Camp has teamed up with Swedish designer HOPE to reveal a limited-edition collection that will become available in August. I think this is lovely because I have always been a bit of a Nina Persson fan, and because A Camp is really good (watch the ABBA-parodying video here for proof), and because at the release party, the fashion collection was ingeniously paired with avant-garde snacks, etching HOPE forever into my brain by creating a food memory.
Richard McGraw, whom we’ve discussed here on Girlpants before, has released the mp3 of his reworking of Leonard Cohen’s punch-in-the-eye classic “Chelsea Hotel #2”. It is not a cover, but a re-imagining of the emotional crux of the song into something set in McGraw’s hometown of Newburgh, NY. Listen to “Balmville Motel” here.

Drunk Girls by LCD Soundsystem: Another Song about Girls

Niina — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 22:20:24 +0000

The new, eminently hollerable track “Drunk Girls,” LCD Soundsystem feels kinda retro to me — not vintage, but definitely a throwback to 90s Brit pop. The yells around the chorus consist of just “drunk girls” and “drunk boys”, and to be honest, to me it not unpleasantly recalls something like a mashup of “Parklife” and “Girls & Boys,” both by the awesome awesome Blur. Observe:

Click here to view the embedded video.

I think, though, that LCD Soundsystem are hitting on an interesting and timeless songwriting phenomenon: “Drunk Girls” adds to the already formidable retinue of songs about girls who do stuff. Therefore, in order to appropriately commemorate this, I shall provide for you a list: Ten Songs About Girls As A Group Entity (with some honorable mentions). (These are all youtube links.)

Blur, “Girls & Boys”. Obviously, I had to put this song on the list. Here is where you can listen to it. Don’t worry, it’s cool again. Also, this song is its own honorable mention.
The Queers, “Punk Rock Girls”. Celebrating the (Chuck) tailored image of the iconically rough-round-the-edges girl that you want to take out but you can’t ‘cause she would probably drink you under the table. The Queers bring it home here. (Honorable mention: “Punk Rock Girl,” Dead Milkmen.)
Beastie Boys, “Girls”. This song falls into the category of Sexist Jam About Partying And Girls. It is brilliant, shouty, and horribly incorrect, and celebrates the girls who might or might not pick up after gross fratboys. It is an 80s gem and we could not have a Songs About Girls list without it. Period. (Honorable mention: “California Girls,” David Lee Roth.)
David Bowie, “China Girl.” This one epitomizes the Song About Girls From Places: even though this girl is singular, she’s really a list of cultural cliches. Still, we believe Bowie when he says “shhhhh.” (Honorable mention: “American Girl,” Tom Petty.)
Queen, “Fat Bottom Girls.” Songs like this one fall into the category of Celebrating Girls With Imperfections, i.e. possibly the awesomest category. My roommate pointed out that this song also could be the beginning of its own list – sweeping generalizations about girls written by gay men. Possible future list coming?
Cyndi Lauper, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” This category is the companion piece to Beastie Boys’ “Girls” — the Celebratory Jam about Girls Partying. Cyndi Lauper is the personification of this category, still, to this day — as you can read from this hilariously irreverent interview. (Honorable mention: “Jumpin Jumpin,” Destiny’s Child.)
Bikini Kill, “Rebel Girl.” Although this song is a militantly drummed celebration of one girl crushing on one neighborhood queen type, it’s really about every girl crushing on every awesome badass girl ever, and so it qualifies as the (Girl Envious of) Awesome Megacrush Girls category. (Honorable mention: “Cherry Bomb,” the Runaways.)
The Smiths, “Some Girls are Bigger than Others.” This song demonstrates Morrissey’s ability to make meaningless comparisons, and marks his easy fiefdom over the kingdom of Semigoth Blasé Observations About Girls. Often these songs come danceable; they don’t really reach any conclusion by the end and leave the listener feeling somewhat like s/he has just finished reading a repressive Victorian novel. I guess not in the bad way. (Honorable mention: “West End Girls,” Pet Shop Boys.)
Duran Duran, “Girls on Film.” Another song about genre girls (see #9 and #6), this song makes itself noteworthy because it Observes Girls From Afar, rather than giving a tribute to the fan girls or a slightly condescending description of exotics. (Honorable mention: “American Girls,” Weezer.)
Major Lazer, “Keep It Goin Louder”. This one is the most common in the world of songs about girls: Girls As Accessory. The note that the girls are present “six chicks deep” totally contradicts the semi-intimacy of “girl I wanna party with you” because it doesn’t really matter – they’re all fly and we all hella want to party with them. (Honorable mention: “Girls Girls Girls,” Jay-Z.)

The Best Worst Record Review of All Time; 10.0, Best New Video

Ben — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 19:58:30 +0000

For those of us who are in the above-25 age bracket, it’s old news that Pitchfork, that venerable bastion of hipster trendsetting and mediocre prose, was once downright terrible. Unarguably, inexcusably so.

Probably every homegrown publication has these embarrassing teething problems, but in Pitchfork’s case this Terrible Epoch coincides neatly with the time when Founder and Editor-in-Chief Ryan Schreiber was a regular contributor. In the course of the site’s slow, stumbling crawl from sub-Geocities design and sub–Karen’s LOST Notebook writing toward the point where Schreiber could be listed as a nominee for Time’s 2009 Person of the Year, the media mogul published a string of cringe-inducing “reviews” of albums—some eminently forgettable (Walt Mink? 10.0? What?) and some classics. And Ryan was at his absolute worst when appreciating legendary artists.

Case in point: Schreiber’s hair-clenchingly godawful writeup of John Coltrane’s Live at the Village Vanguard. This hood classic (thanks, Mike) has recently been given new life by some enterprising YouTubers with a knack for animation and silly voices. Look here:

Click here to view the embedded video.

If watching it wasn’t enough for you (you sick, twisted person), you can read the unabridged original text of the review (since banish-ed from P-fork’s hallowed halls, perhaps in recognition of its shameful nature) here.

friday filler fun

Ben — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 19:04:19 +0000

Well, we were supposed to have a new mix up for you by now, but, well… Mike left the coffee pot on and when it died a fiery death in the wee hours of the morning, no one knew how to cope. I mean, the fire put itself out and no one was hurt—or at least, not directly. But unable to get their caffeine fix in this sad state of affairs, Mike, Niina, Joel, Jason, and the homeless guy who’s been crashing under Joel’s desk variously lapsed into comas and/or delirium. The hardiest of the bunch, Niina managed to crawl downstairs and around the corner to Starbucks, using her dying strength and the chipped and cracked edges of her fingernails to drag herself toward a $4.99 Americano. This she graciously shared with the rest of us, caring soul that she is. Well, except for me, because I don’t drink coffee. So while the rest of the crew are on the DL, here’s some wacky internet shit I’ve dug up to hold you over:

First up we’ve got this curious and heartbreaking Youtube video in which a group of brave, misguided teens from the frostbitten wastes of Canada go on public access television to give you their vision of the sublime. As the uploader put it, “The band is called Mental Note, and they appeared on a show called Johnny Sizzle’s Entertainment Watch, which aired on the Winnipeg Public Access channel in 1992.” Enjoy!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Wow, what an incredible solo, amirite? Reminiscent of Creed Shreds 3: You Shit Here With Me, don’t you think?

Up next is a gem of a remix—a reworking of Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” by longtime hipinion.com boarder j_brooks. Now, I hate brooks as much as the next guy, but this remix… well, it’s good. Someone in the thread where brooks outed it described it as “shits like audio ambien,” to which brooks replied, “ambien is like my main musical influence.” Thrilling, no? It sounds like exactly what you’d expect, given that exchange.

Lady Gaga — “Paparazzi (Elite Gymnastics Remix)”

And actually that’s all we’ve got for today. I have to go tend to the sick and wounded (I think I hear Jason calling for a mocha drip), and get that mixed finished up for (we hope) tomorrow. Please send all get-well-soon cards and/or packets of instant coffee via overnight shipping to Girlpants, Inc., at the address in our Contact Us page.

useless under the sun

Mike — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:02:02 +0000

Now that girlpants is back up and running we’re getting invited to all the good parties again. It’d be gauche to go into too much detail, but I will say that Ben and Joel visited la Tour Eiffel together and Niina shot somebody with a revolver.

And me? I’ve been ensconced in Lali Puna’s bangin forthcoming album Our Inventions.

Lali Puna — “Move On”

Not just anyone can sing “you’re just a small light, so useless under the sun, no will recognize your shine. Try.” In the wrong hands it’s like Thomas Kinkade territory. But rendered in that flatly Germanic, sexy robot voice of chanteuse Valerie Trebeljahr–I dunno, it seems earned somehow. By the chorus I find myself gazing out onto the horizon contemplatively, morning coffee commercial style, wondering what the day will bring. Warm, pulsating electronica and swelling major chords, apparently.

“I wanted to give you disneyland”

Ben — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 15:50:59 +0000

All apologies to Niina, who I know is a fan, but I really don’t think Patrick Wolf has proved himself to be a terribly good musician. I also think he’s a particularly annoying human being–though I admit that’s an opinion based entirely on a couple of his emails and blog/message board posts. Some P. Wolf history: a couple of years ago he wrote a lengthy, borderline incoherent rant about the early leak of his debut album Lycanthropy; a year or two later he did it again regarding the leak of his third album, this year’s The Magic Position, but this time with a more calculatedly world-weary tone. He’s foppish, dandyish, intentionally dramatic–his videos are precious, carefully-constructed for maximum whimsy fantasias and he seems to spend more time on his hair than A Flock of Seagulls in their prime. Internet reports indicate that he’s inspired a growing fashion subculture of similar uberhipster douches in the UK (and probably some US hangers on). Other internet reports indicate that he’s “a twat.” Longtime readers of Girlpants will know that we’re not prone to making posts about things we dislike. If there’s a record we’re not into, rather than bashing it we don’t post about it. The site is more about our love for good music than it is about any and every music-related thought that passes through our heads. That said, occasionally something really obnoxious comes down the pike and we (I) can’t resist commenting on it. Which brings us to Patrick Wolf’s recent message board post. Here it is, without any more preamble:

dear all… I should never have read this.. I really shouldn’t. I dont think when I was 16 and dreamt of releasing records there would ever be so much crazy speculation about the person I am and that you want me to be. I have become so tired of this behaviour, sometimes I wake up and have to do six hours of interviews before doing a show, then go straight to bed to sleep a couple of hours to fly to a new country to be cross examined in the same way.. I dont know what is left of me sometimes, some mornings i dont know how i get on the flight or even open my mouth to sing that night. If I choose after working since the early hours of a day and then pouring my heart out for an hour and a half that I really have nothing left to give.. that I cannot be a fake politician and sign autographs for an hour.. does this make an asshole? because my drummer was causing arguments within my road family, taking sedative drugs before an important show in a city i really love, so much so he could not play the music I wrote, the songs that I have survived on in the last six years… because I had to slap him to see if he was even CONSCIOUS on stage.… the fact that the only thing that got any reaction out his corpse happened to be made of metal.. because all of this.. does this make me seem like I was on cocaine, or on some power trip? I was pissed off because this was just one more musician or businessman taking my good nature and generosity for a ride… trust me, that moment onstage was the end of a long line of bad behaviour that it would unfair to go into in public. Yes I was drunk, but It was one oclock in the morning after seven hours of interviews.. i had been running on about four hours of sleep a night for about two weeks… such is the joy of promoting a record. Anyway, I was having FUN until that moment. So was the rest of my band until we realised my drummer was taking the piss out of all of us and our hard work. I dont work with liars and I dont work with thieves. I dont want to have to share this information with you but so many seem so interested… I have made a decision, my final concert will be this november, a retrospective with an orchestra in London. I am not sure wether there will be anymore public communications after that, Infact I am pretty sure there will be none. Of course, this has nothing to do with my drummer.. but a creative clock is ticking and I have many many projects to be creating with my time left on this earth. I hope to share my last shows with you this year. I have enjoyed making and performing music for you all, I have enjoyed trying to give a little hope and inspiration to the world. But I feel, especially when I read all this and I go about my days that I have failed. Im not seeking sympathy or empathy, god, I have to go find something I love and am inspired by in this world again. Many of you will never know the amount of work and emotion that goes on behind the scenes for me and many of your other favourite artists or musicians and why should you? I wanted to give you disneyland.. I wanted to give you a world at the back of your wardrobe, now im just feel a fool for bothering. I am in berlin today, i know I should never have read this, I dont know who any of you are, just strangers talking amongst themselves, and I wish I was stronger minded today, but i have to take enough bullshit from other parts of the world for what I do and who I am without getting it from here. Im going off for a walk now.. clear my heart and head. Thanks to all you with the intelligence to see past the superficial chaos of the media and the various ridiculous personalities and characters that have been painted around me over the years, the problem is, unfortunately many of you will never get to know the truth, but many will still speculate, and play chinese whispers with interviews and opinions from the friend of a friend. This is nothing new to me, unfortunately, luckily I have always had a close set of dear friends that will always know me for who I really am, just as I do. If I can give any advice, is, if anything, just listen to the music, watch the videos, read the lyrics, see the artwork, these are my communications, not others. still love x patrick

There are a number of things that bother me about this post, but before I get into them I’d like to state that I don’t think firing your drummer because he’s falling asleep on the job is in any way out of line. If a dude’s not doing his work, sure, get rid of him. However, slapping him mid-performance and firing him in full view of the audience is step one on the road to douchebaggery. The main problem with this post is the enormous ego involved. Every other sentence refers back to Wolf’s own self-assigned genius, his martyrdom at the hands of the recording process/record industry/media/fan culture, or his generally misunderstood nature. The entire post drips with the feeling of how put upon Wolf is to be such a celebrity (give me a fucking break)–Patrick, if you can’t handle interviews and signing autographs and traveling to shows, perhaps you should reconsider your line of work? You’re hardly the first to experience the downsides of being a recording/traveling musician. It’s been a part of the game for going on a century now, and that’s not going to change any time soon. His solution is to stop touring. Fine. It sounds like he’s not cut out for it, anyway. However, the idea that he’s playing up this ignominious retreat from touring as a culmination to an illustrious career is pretty laughable. That he’s planning his final show as a “retrospective” (of three footnote-of-an-albums?) speaks directly to the kind of hubris involved in the enterprise. Listen, Patrick. You’re 23 years old–you have plenty of time left. You’re clearly talented. Take some time to yourself, find yourself, get a fucking grip, and maybe some of your “many many projects” will be worth hearing in a few years. I don’t doubt that your post was another calculated ploy for attention like the rest of your act (any press is good press, right?), and I don’t doubt that I’m playing into your hands by replying to it, but I feel it’s worth the risk to deliver this message: get the fuck over yourself. Regards, Ben @ Girlpants

Two Drink Mike (note: not our Mike–he can hold his liquor)

Peter — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 00:08:30 +0000

The other morning started out as a regular day at the MANpants office. I was eagerly waiting for my apple toaster strudel to finish crisping on the hood of the VW bus when suddenly I experienced a strange feeling–a feeling somewhere between divine intervention and my usual Monday morning fever dream. I felt the curious urge to write a review of comedian Mike Birbiglia’s album Two Drink Mike. I contacted my audiophile superiors at girlpants and they granted me permission to reside temporarily at the GPHQ while I exorcised this review demon. Now I find myself sitting on a cot Joel has set up for me in their basement. I’ve been given a can of Italian wedding soup for sustenance and a Royal typewriter to complete my task. Mike Birbiglia is a stand-up comic you might have seen on Conan or Letterman (he is one of the youngest comics to appear on The Late Show). You might have heard or read his Secret Public Journal, a continuing series of anecdotes and wisdom bestowed upon The Bob and Tom Radio Show and available in easy-to-use blog form. Two Drink Mike is Birbiglia’s second album (his first, Dog Years, was self-produced). Two Drink Mike is a CD/DVD set from Comedy Central Records and it’s a birthday cake of goodness for Birbigs fans and newcomers alike. Recorded at the Improv in D.C., this is an hour long set that never drags. Birbiglia has an instantly likable personality, with an alternately laid-back and excited style. His humor is neither squeaky clean nor too blue. He wisely slips in his edgier punchlines when you least suspect them. With “Whiffle Ball Tony,” his playful critique of the Bush administration, Birbiglia does in 3 minutes what most political comedians take an hour to do, and he does it better and funnier. Birbiglia worked with the late, great Mitch Hedberg for some time and the influence is clear, but never distractingly so. In a moment on “I’m Crazy and Gay Cats,” after segueing from a Karma Chameleon reference to actually singing a line from the song, Birbiglia cracks himself up and mumbles “that’s absurd…” It’s the kind of aside you’d expect from Hedberg, and here it feels like a brief but caring tribute. Birbiglia’s game plan is to mix homespun nostalgia with modern pop culture (sitting down to a game of Scrabble with Jay-Z), or riff on his own goofy innocence (trying to buy Snapple from a crack dealer). In “Hip Hop Animosity,” he perfectly sums up the plight of the average good-natured single guy with a great bit about dance club culture. He also presents his understandable obsession with pizza, a cautionary tale about drinking at a laundromat, and a curious concern for the sex lives of panda bears. Don’t be scared when he breaks out the guitar toward the end of his set–the three musical bits are all solid. “The Oatmeal Song” tackles (all kinds) of religious rock; “The Guitar Guy at the Party” takes aim at the titular girlfriend-stealing troubadour; the “Thanks For Coming Song” is a recap of the set. (There’s a radio version of “The Guitar Guy at the Party” included as well, but the live track is simply more fun.) Let me wind this down by praising Comedy Central Records. They’ve been pumping out these fantastic CD/DVD sets that are pretty much revitalizing an underappreciated art form. Two Drink Mike is no different. The DVD includes Birbiglia’s five minutes from Premium Blend, his half hour from Comedy Central Presents, and a segment from Shorties Watchin’ Shorties. I’m not a fan of Shorties (the show in which choice comedy bits from various artists are Flash-animated), but the bit they chose for Birbiglia is a strong one. As for the other videos, he seems a bit more relaxed on the CD, but these are still fun to watch. All in all, this is a golden set. Rating: 5 toaster strudels (out of 5) [buy] Try: “Whiffle Ball Tony” “You’d Be Surprised” [site][myspace][wiki][label]

Double Nepotism!

Ben — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 17:52:25 +0000

What’s this? Two posts in two days? Visions of a fully functional blog dance before my eyes! Today I’ve got something mildly self-serving for you guys–a collaboration between two boarders at Hipinion, hipster braintrust extraordinaire. Boarder #1 is Toaster aka Hari aka Robotville, an electronic folk act out of the UK. Boarder #2 is rollie aka Roland Pemberton aka Cadence Weapon. I’ve posted about him before, and no doubt you’ve heard his debut record Breaking Kayfabe (buy) or at least heard of him due to his tours with Islands, Busdriver, and Why?. Things like this are why I love Hipinion; for all its snobbery and snarkery and life-destroying antics, occasionally its constituents come together and create something beautiful. Here we’ve got Hari’s simple upbeat folk tune (reminds me most of that breakout Sugar Ray song, actually, but in a good way) augmented by a killer verse by Rollie (best lines: “They say I’m indie rock like an asian girlfriend”; “so I hang with the idiot, like I was Ian Curtis”). Anyway, check it out: Robotville — “Kick Out the Snow (feat. Cadence Weapon)”